The Silent Teachings of Penny
I always knew horses were amazing teachers, but since Penny came into my life in November, she has taught me so much that has resonated and influenced both my everyday life and clinical practice.
The first lesson has been the importance of slowing down. When Penny arrived, she was very anxious and struggled adjusting to her new home. Her anxiety was evident in her physical behavior, like pacing, gastro issues and just her overall inability to relax. I very eager to help her settle at a pace I thought was helpful, but I quickly realized it wasn’t the pace Penny needed. She resisted and told me in her ways that I needed to slow down and we need to take our time. Through slowing down, we started to learn about the importance of listening and respecting thresholds, especially thresholds to stress. Thresholds to stress refers to the point at which we begin to experience negative effects from stressors, external or internal demands that challenge our ability to cope, and impact our overall physical and mental health.
In the last few months I have been trying to learn Penny’s threshold, with the goal of increasing her confidence and build resilience. Learning to recognize thresholds takes self-awareness, by listening to the body and recognizing when we were reaching our tipping point. Most importantly, when we reaching that limit we need to respect the body’s need to stop and and calm the nervous system. Slowly and slowly, Penny’s threshold has increased significantly as she learns to trust and feel more confident. Overall she looks more relaxed, and at times feels like a completely different horse than when she first came in November. With that said I can’t drop my guard- she is still learning and trusting, and her threshold still needs to be supported, as does mine. As we work together with helping her build confidence under saddle, I still have to listen to her. This experience has increased my self-awareness of knowing my thresholds, by helping me know when I need to take a moment to calm my physical body and emotional mind, and in turn hers.
The other lesson Penny has taught me is about not listening to limiting narratives. Limiting narratives are often referred as self-deprecating stories we tell ourselves. These narratives often involve fear-based beliefs about ourselves, others, or situations, leading to increased stress and anxiety. These limiting narratives create blind spots which filter our reality, leading us to ignore evidence that contradicts them or even avoid opportunities that challenge our assumptions.
When Penny arrived, it was clear that she had many many limiting narratives that kept her in a state of fear. Part of building her confidence has been helping her to challenge limiting narratives, by showing her evidence that contradicts them. For whatever reason (likely past experiences) she had limiting narratives that made her fearful, especially with new people, spaces (inside and outside the barn) and trying new things. Working with Penny has taught me that we need to challenge limiting narratives that can keep us stuck in a state of fear. Challenging limiting narratives takes time and patience, but slowly we start to recognize the beauty that comes with shifting our perspective by seeing evidence that contradicts them. It’s natural when our body is telling us no, we don’t want to push ourselves or make a change. However building trust and resilience, means knowing that you’re not going put yourself in danger and have the skills to tolerate the discomfort. Through listening to our thresholds, we can slowly and gently challenge our limiting narratives, and eventually the body starts saying yes. This takes time and patience, but when we get there, it makes a world of difference and allows for new opportunities.
Penny has taught me so much in our short time together, and every day she pushes me to reflect and think differently. I hope to continue to share my lessons as Penny and I continue our amazing work together. Stay tuned!
